It was discouraging to see the CNN headline this morning: “Reality TV stars Jon and Kate are divorcing.” It broke the news that Jon and Kate Gosselin have separated now but will continue to film the show!  They apparently will film separately with the kids for the remainder of the season.

This is discouraging because the high value marriage has in the eyes of God is not being maintained by people.

This is discouraging because it shows a TV show ruining a family, maybe for the sake of good ratings.

This is discouraging because of the comments I read by Kate.  She was quoted by CNN as saying: “”I’m not very fond of the idea, personally, but I know it’s necessary because my goal is peace for the kids.”

In this statement we see part of a problem which plagues many couple- they live for their children and not to glorify God through their marriage.  It is easy to let children become the focus of a marriage, and I would contend that this is another form of idolatry, idolatry being something in our lives that we place over Jesus Christ.  We can easily elevate people to a position in our lives where we idolize them, and I think it happens easily with children because we love them so much.  But when two people unite in marriage and become one flesh, their first priority should be to each other and to honor God through their marriage.  In Scripture, marriage is likened to the relationship between Christ and His church- that’s why marriage is so sacred and should be honored and valued.  And in the case of Jon & Kate and many others, children have been elevated to a position where they became the focus of the marriage.

Idolizing children is part of the reason for parents dealing so difficultly with their children eventually moving out.  They have placed their children as being first in their lives, so its no wonder that when they move out, the parents are crushed, saying “I have nothing left to live for!”  Really??  If we live for our kids, we’re simply replacing Jesus’ position in our lives with them, and we’re opening ourselves up for emotional disappointment.

And we see that idolizing children is part of the reason for a separation in a marriage.  Kate said she is not fond of the idea of separating, but she is separating for the peace of her kids. What’s more important in her marriage- her relationship with her husband exemplifying the relationship of Christ and His church, or keeping peace with her children?

I don’t intend to devalue parenting here.  I am a parent.  Parenting is of great importance.  But like everything else in our lives, it has its place.  Parents should work together to train children in the ways of the Lord so they can watch them carry out God’s purpose later in their lives.  But children were never created to cause division in marriages.

Neither do I intend to judge Jon & Kate here, but they are in a national spotlight and are setting an example to many whether they want to or not.  And since we see their marriage on TV it’s easy to scrutinize it.  But I would imagine that many marriages separate or dissolve for reasons very similar to what we are seeing.

I pray that Jon & Kate can work through differences and see a change in their marriage so that they can exemplify Godly marriage to the great amount of people who view them.  I pray that we can see marriage honored in our country the way it should be as a relationship created by God to illustrate His redemption of mankind.  I pray that God will be glorified even though we, as sinful people, don’t always follow His ways.